The first astonishing thing about the W-S holiday catalog became clear when we received it; the mailman left it on top of our apartment mailbox because it wouldn't fit inside. It's about the heft and thickness of a bridal magazine or a special issue of Smithsonian. 162 pages; just reaname the items in mock-Swedish and it could be the Ikea catalog. Any thicker and they'll have to switch to a glue binding.
p.2. Breville Electric Mini-Pie Maker: this bizarre device allows you to make four 4" diameter pies, baked in something which looks like a waffle iron. The device to get the pies out of the Pie Maker once cooked is sold separately; one wonders what the people who don't purchase it do. Dump the 300F pie out onto your hands?
p. 19: "More Gifts for Crafty Cooks". Later in the catalog they have gifts for "Brainy Bakers" and "Wiley Winos".
p. 24: Twister Aerator and Stand: Forget drinking the wine, we're just going to pour it and watch. Has to be seen to be believed:
http://www.williams-sonoma.com/products ... stand-set/p. 30: "Exceptionally large and meaty, this rack is sure to impress dinner guests ..." Oh. They're talking about lamb.
p. 39: Recipe: Short Rib Wellington Potpie. It is extremely difficult for me to picture Arthur Wellsley eating any such thing. Or maybe it's made from the Lord Wellington? Hmmm, nope. Just short ribs and prosciutto. You know, just like you use in Beef Wellington.
p. 46: Recipe: Braised Maple-Bourbon Pork with Beans: OMG. Did W-S really just publish a recipe for Pork & Beans?
p. 58: Shun Professional Electric Whetstone Sharpener: for only $300, you can destroy your $200 Shun knives at home!
p. 88: Pinecone Trees: "handcrafted from pinecones and natural moss". An impressive $59.95 for something which belongs in the compost bin.
p. 98: Star of David Cake Pan: whatever you do, do
not let Sandra Lee know about this.
p. 98-99: Hanukkah Plates. Dreidel Candleholders. Somebody needs to tell these WASPs that Hanukkah is not actually an important holiday on the Jewish calendar ...
p. 104: King Cube Silicone Ice Cube Trays. makes four ice cubes, each of which is 2" cubed. Yes, really.
p. 152: Holiday Piecrust Cutters: because, of course, you could never use cookie cutters on pie crust.
... and then we get to the majority of the catalog, which is shockingly expensive food. For example they have Lobster Macaroni & Cheese for $90, plus around $20 for shipping, for just over a 2lbs serving. Or you could go out to a restaurant ... it would be cheaper.
p. 107: London Cure Scottish Smoked Salmon. Yes, London has been trying to "cure" the Scottish for years. Hasn't worked.
p. 109: "A striking presentation, this beautiful fish is rendered in golden puff pastry that's hand sculpted with three-dimensional detail, creating a dramatic entree' for a holiday feast" Surely they could have worked in a couple more adjectives?
p. 125: Poinsetta Cake: I can't possibly imagine how this could arrive intact. Picture:
http://www.williams-sonoma.com/products ... ettia-cakep. 132: Handcrafted Marshmellows: "The airy mixture is then poured onto marble slabs to cool and set before being hand cut into cubes and individually wrapped." They don't tie little bows around them, though, so I'm not buying.
p. 142: No-Bake Gingerbread House Kit: What, it doesn't come already put together? Geez, holidays are so much
work! Oh, wait, nevermind. p. 143: "Our pre-assembled house ... displays your choice of a name, up to 8 letters."
p. 157: a 12-foot Bay Leaf Garland. The mind boggles. How many gallons -- no, barrels -- of soup is that?
... that's all I had time for. There's probably more silliness in the W-S Catalog-and-Doorstop, but my arms are tired.
Very well done, Fuzzy 
