Just skiing down the slope.
Christmas dinner, T-Day menu has just been 
planned when Harold starts pestering me about Christmas(followed by New Year's, lol).  Prime rib, Mom, please.  Well, OK...but you know you wanted to invite your grandparents.  All is cool, until I, just before Christmas, bring up the hurl factor...
gum snapping...."ya know, I have to make extra well done(read jerky) prime rib for them"  heheh 
"Mom, you 
can't"
gum snapping...."they'll pass out"
"Mom, 
no".
Giggles.  "Well, okay, just watch".
I cut the rib, they were coming over and staring...
transfixed horrified.  I crank up the convection(snicker) heat, throw a 9x13 back in the oven for about 12 minutes while finishing up(ours is in warming drawer).  Cooked the crap out of it.
No more gum snapping.  Persistant pinkness.  They were horrified, huddled, and 
afraid.
So, kinda of fits.  Pink. Shoe.Jerky. psuedo charcuterie.  

furthermore, if we ensnare 
Kurtgoogle we wouldn't have to worry about where 
anything was, now would we?